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Hi, I’m Dave, and it’s been three days since I asked an AI to name my dog.

He’s a Labrador. I gave it his breed, his colour and his “vibe.” It came back with forty names, and I made it rank them. Then I asked for forty more because the first forty didn’t feel right.

My daughter just looked at him and said “Biscuit.” That was it. He’s Biscuit. He’s never been anything else. I’m trying to be more like my daughter.

Hi, I’m Priya. For about two years I didn’t send a single email I had written myself.

I thought nobody could tell. Then my manager pulled me aside and said, very kindly, “You don’t have to say ‘I hope this message finds you well’ to me every morning. I sit next to you.”

These days my emails are short, a bit blunt, and sometimes I forget the attachment. People reply faster. I didn’t expect that.

Hi, I’m Gerald, and I’m seventy-one. My grandson set it up on my phone “to help with the crossword.”

Within a week it was doing the crossword. Within a month I was asking it whether my tomatoes looked healthy. I sent it photographs. Of tomatoes. Every morning.

I do the crossword in pen again now. I get about half of it. The tomatoes are fine. They were always fine.

Hi, I’m Tash. My rock bottom was a group chat.

Someone posted that their cat had died, and I pasted it into a chatbot and asked for “a supportive reply, casual, not too long.” It suggested I “acknowledge the loss while centring their feelings.” I copied it in. Word for word. Including the bit where it said “Here’s a warm, casual reply you could send:”

Nobody said anything. That was worse.

Hi, I’m Marcus. I used to ask it to settle arguments with my wife.

If it took her side, I’d rephrase the question. I once rephrased the same question nine times. By the end it agreed with me and I felt absolutely nothing.

Now when we disagree we just… disagree. Sometimes she’s right. Mostly she’s right. I’m told that’s recovery.

Certainly! Here is my story of recovery:

Hi, I’m Helen. I came to my first meeting because my book club noticed that all of my opinions arrived as five bullet points with a bolded summary.

A year on, I have one opinion per book, and it’s usually “it was a bit long.” I’ve never been happier.

Hi, I’m Sam. I’m new. I’m only here because my sister drove me.

I don’t think I have a problem. I only use it for work. And recipes. And texts. And deciding which film to watch, and then for a summary of the film so I don’t have to watch it.

Okay. I’ll keep coming back.

Hi, I’m Ruth, and I’m a sponsor now, which still surprises me.

My lowest moment was asking an AI to write my wedding vows. They were beautiful. My husband cried. Then, at the reception, his best man gave a speech that used the exact phrase “a love that is both an anchor and a sail.”

We’re still married. We wrote new vows on our anniversary, by hand. They rhyme badly. They’re perfect.

Hi, I’m Kofi. I’m a software developer, so I had what my sponsor calls “occupational exposure.”

I didn’t notice it had spread until I asked it to help me pick a birthday present for my mum, then asked it to write the card, then asked it to remind me to post the card. It forgot. So did I.

This year I rang her. We talked for an hour. Nobody needed a reminder.

Hi, I’m Bev. I used to say “thank you” to it, and “good night.”

I told myself it was just manners. Then one night I realised I had said good night to the chatbot and not to my husband.

He says good night to me every night now, very loudly, from across the house. I think he’s making a point. It’s working.