For loved ones
For Families
For the families and friends of people who speak only in bullet points. You did not cause it, you cannot control it, and you cannot prompt it away. But you are not alone either.
When your loved one speaks only in bullet points
It may begin subtly. A birthday card that is a little too well structured. A text that says “Great question!” in response to “are you coming for tea?” An apology that contains the phrase “I hear you, and your feelings are valid.”
Try not to react with anger. Your loved one may not even know it is happening. Many of our members only realised when a family member read one of their messages aloud at the dinner table, in a flat, even voice.
Signs of hidden use
Messages that arrive suspiciously quickly, and suspiciously long. Opinions on films they have not seen. A sudden ability to discuss wine. Recipes that call for “a pinch of creativity.” Long silences followed by the soft tapping of keys, and then: “So I was thinking…”
Be especially alert to em dashes. We say no more.
How to stage a gentle intervention
Choose a calm moment. Sit together, ideally away from any screen. Speak from your own experience: “When you asked it whether you should come to Grandad’s birthday, I felt sad.”
Do not let them prepare talking points with AI beforehand. Do not prepare your own with AI either. We have had reports of interventions in which both sides were reading from generated scripts, and everyone agreed, warmly, about nothing.
Afterwards, offer to go with them to an open meeting. Most of our members came because someone they loved drove them there and waited in the car park.
Looking after yourself
Living with an active prompter can be lonely. You may find yourself wondering whether you are talking to them or to something they pasted. That is a hard thing to sit with. Please talk to someone: a friend, a counsellor, or one of us after a meeting. We have kept the kettle on for exactly this.